Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dude of the Week: Chuck Yeager

If there was ever a pilot for all-time, this is the guy. Today's Dude of the Week is one of the most famous airplane pilots to ever hop in a cockpit, up there with Lindburgh and von Richthofen. He served with the United States Army Air Forces and the United States Air Force from 1941-1975, winning a plethora of medals. He was a World War II fighter ace, flew over a hundred missions in Vietnam, and was the first man to fly faster than the speed of sound. He is:

Major General Chuck Yeager, USAF

Chuck Yeager was a high school graduate from West Virginia who enlisted in the US Army Air Forces before World War II came to US shores, in September of 1941. Though he wasn't a university graduate, once war came, Yeager trained as a flight officer. He flew P-39s and P-51s, being shot down once and scoring 11.5 kills - including 5 in one day, and he snagged a Me-262. So, he's badass already.

After the war, Yeager decided that he needed to get the reputation as being the most awesome fucker who ever flew a plane, and he flew the Bell X-1 "Glamorous Glennis" to Mach 1.07, breaking the sound barrier for the first time in a manned aircraft. He did this with two broken ribs, and he couldn't even close the aircraft canopy without a jerry-rigged handle.


Yeager did his best to keep his title as the fastest man alive. When Scott Crossfield became the first person to punch through Mach 2, Yeager planned to take the record from him, just before Crossfield was honoured as "the fastest man alive" at the 50th anniversary of the Wright Brothers' flight from Kitty Hawk. So, Yeager basically took a giant dump on Crossfield's head. Awesome.

As an accomplished fighter pilot, Yeager realized that if he flew fighter planes in Vietnam, it would just be too easy for the US to win, so he completely switched professions and became a bomber pilot, flying B-57s and F-4 Phantoms. He then hooked up with the Pakistani Air Force as a liason, helping their air force fight the Indians, spending his time fucking off in a F-86 Sabre for shits and giggles.

Since retiring, Yeager has gone off and set records in every airplane they'll still let him fly, usually light civilian types. He set speed records, distance records, and endurance records. In 1997 Yeager flew a F-15D to celebrate the anniversary of him ripping the sound barrier a new one. That's right, they let him fly a $30 million aircraft at age 74, because he is awesome.

In conclusion: Chuck Yeager is allowed to bone your girlfriend.

1 comment:

Perun said...

They don't make 'em like that anymore...

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